I picked up One Big Happy Family, a collection of essays on family and love, because I love knowing the private details of other people's lives, and I love high-quality essays. One Big Happy Family satisfied both urges for me, and like all great collections, the whole is more than the sum of its parts. Editor Rebecca Walker brings together a varied group of writers to share their experiences of family – topics range from open marriage to open adoption, green card marriage to intercultural marriage. Many of the essays have themes of race and culture, and sexuality is construed as more than just a gay/straight binary. This is a book you will want to read straight through – it pulls you in and leaves you rethinking your own definition of family.
Many of the essays have an amusing but earnest tone. Nearly all are positive and strong, written by individuals satisfied by their choices and their family lives, even as they share the difficulties and heartbreaks associated with their families. Neal Pollack writes a standout, hilarious piece on being home with his young son. Z.Z. Packer's entry also shines, explaining the strange reality of having your parenthood questioned by strangers when your child doesn't appear to share your race. Liza Monroy engrosses readers in a story about entering into a green card marriage – while her mother works for the State Department. Dan Savage's essay and Susan McKinney de Ortega's also are memorable parts of the collection.
Some of the stories in the book are of a more informative tone, such as the one from from Paula Penn-Nabrit on home schooling her African-American sons or Marc and Amy Vachon's enlightening essay on equal parenting. We also hear from a proud (and anonymous) sperm donor, interracial and intercultural partners, parents of disabled children, members of large families, adoptive families, and a woman in couples therapy with her sister. As the book winds itself up, you start to wonder if there are any styles of "family" that aren't workable for someone out there. Perhaps that is the point.
With a variety of writing styles and topics that will speak to many readers, Walker's collection is a fascinating read if you enjoy the genre. Despite not quite seeing my own situation in any of the writers', I felt part of the collection – its inclusiveness made me rethink and relabel my own experiences and wonder what insights I would be able to contribute to such a collection. Midway through the book, I began to feel that it was extremely New York and Los Angeles focused, although later essays helped to mitigate that. Issues of poverty were not frequently addressed, either, which was a hole in the collection. However, with the understanding that even the most varied collection can't include everything, I thoroughly enjoyed my time immersed in other people's families.
---Katy Wischow
imagineatrium.com
Check out author Rebecca Walker at www.rebeccawalker.com
Keep your community thriving. One Big Happy Family is at your local, independent bookstore now. Visit Indiebound.org to find it.
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